Location: Use Google Maps to find out where the most important locations are that you want to visit. Save these locations to generate a heat map. Then: Search for hotels in the area, filter by rating, price, … Save them too.

Check the Candidates: Don't just look at the street. Zoom in on Google Maps. Is the hotel on a main road (noisy)? Or tucked down a quiet soi (alleyway) just off the main drag? The latter is often your golden ticket to peace without being isolated. Look for hotels one or two sois away from the main entertainment areas.

Switch to Satellite Imagery: Is there a construction site nearby? A highway? Giant crossroads? Go-kart track? Stadium? These are noise indicators.

Check the architecture: Where is the pool? Is the hotel right on the street? Or is there space, perhaps a garden? Distance from the noise is good.

Look at the Neighbors: Even if the hotel is one or two sois away from the main entertainment area, look at the neighbors within 100 meters. Watch out for bar icons. Search for "nightclubs" in the area. If there’s one, you won’t sleep before 4 am.

Try the Street View: The more floors the hotel has, the better. If possible, book a better room on the higher floors or request a quieter room higher up upon check-in.

Read Reviews Like a Detective: Ignore the generic "great hotel!" or "terrible!" Look for specifics. "The staff cleaned my room twice a day" vs. "The room was a mess." Pay attention to recent reviews and photos. If multiple people mention a specific issue (e.g., "slow Wi-Fi," "loud music until 3 AM"), it's probably true. Try to find a photo that proves that the rooms have in-room safes.

Read Booking Pages like a Detective: The spoken languages tell you exactly who this hotel attracts, and they tell you a lot about the food selection. Compare the text with the reviews (safe deposit box, facilities, …).

Double-Check the Website: Is the website in English? Is there a warning posted there? Is the gym closed? Renovations? Are there regular pool parties there? Airport shuttle?

"What's Not Included" Can Be Key: Many Thai hotels cut corners to offer low prices. Sometimes that means no proper soundproofing, limited hot water, or staff who are only there to check you in. Higher-rated places usually have better quality control. If a deal seems too good to be true, it often is.

Boutique vs. Big Brand: Sometimes the smaller, independently owned boutique hotels offer more personality and attentive service than the giant chains, often at a better price. They survive on reputation, so they often try harder. But the reality is: Nothing beats an apprenticeship at a large international hotel chain.

Bonus Tip: Come in low season. Fewer tourists, cheaper prices. And yes, it will rain sometimes. For 1 hour. Mostly at night. I had some of the best Thailand trips in June, July, August. Thanks to fantastic Agoda Deals.

90 percent of all my hotel beds were dirty: How do I know? I travel with a little UV flashlight. It saved me from infections many times. The picture above shows one of the dirtiest pillows I have ever found. Natural light: clean. UV light: disgusting. It’s a must-have (click this Amazon link). Staff always reacted a bit confused but changed everything. The second set of bedding was often just as dirty. This is likely due to the cleaning service contracted by the hotel. Tip: Sleep on a towel if you don’t have the light.

"Please do not disturb" has little meaning: In many hotels, maids chat in the hallway early in the morning, often via radio. However, room cleaning doesn't begin until the afternoon, between 2 and 4 p.m. Tip: Tell them on day one that this has to stop. And tell the front desk.

Don’t let them wash your clothes: Hotel laundry in Thailand is completely overpriced in comparison to the friendly laundry service in front of the hotel. Tip: Keep your 7-Eleven bag to carry your dirty clothes to the cheap laundry.