YOUR SECRET CHEAT CODE

TEXT TIM
IN THAILAND

5pm to midnight, Thailand time.
You text me, I answer within the hour.

It's your first time in Bangkok or Pattaya. You're alone, hungry and don’t know where to eat. Which bar afterwards? Is the price right? Is the place safe? What did she say?

Just text Tim! 🇬🇧🇺🇸🇩🇪

You don't need another guide. You need someone in your pocket to answer the question you have right now, before you've already made the decision.

Mark, 17:14
Taxi guy at the airport wants 700 baht to Sukhumvit. Fair?

Tim, 17:19
No. Down to the lowest floor, Airport Rail Link, Makkasan, 35 baht. Interchange to MRT subway, 1 station (Sukhumvit), 17 baht. 650 baht saved.

Mark, 20:02
At Terminal 21, ate already, would like some live music before Crazy House. Where do I go?

Tim, 20:11
Soi Cowboy, Penny Black.

Mark, 23:30
Girl I met a few days ago says her mum's in hospital and she needs 8,000 baht. Trust her?

Tim, 23:34
That's a script, almost word for word. Don't send anything.

What you can send me:

Where to go next.
Food recommendations.
Bars, fun, nightlife.
Prices that feel wrong.
Two options and you can't decide.
A photo of a menu you can't read.
Whether an area is fine to walk at night.
Public Transport.
Screenshots of messages you don't know how to read.
Text, photo, or your location. Whatever's fastest.

What this is not:

I don't build itineraries.
I don't research or book your hotels, transfers or tours.
I don't do visa, legal or medical advice.
No condo hunting, relocation or retirement questions.
This is for people visiting Thailand, not people moving there.
I don't meet up.
And to be clear: I don't arrange company. No introductions, no bar fines.
No illegal activities.

How it works

You buy the week you need. You get a short form: your WhatsApp number, your dates, where you land. I message you the same day to confirm, then again the day before you fly. After that you just text me. In English or German. Up to you kaa!

The rules

One person per purchase. Access runs from your start date to 23:59 on your last day. The hour applies inside the window, so a message at 2am gets answered at 5pm, not at 3am. If your trip moves, tell me and I'll move you to another week.

Why not just ask an AI

I was in Bangkok this month. I know which places changed hands, which prices moved, and which scam is doing the rounds right now, and when I don't know I have people there I can ask. An AI knows what a blog wrote two years ago.